The REAL Cause of Heimdall's Desire for Revenge
by Karin Ochibi-chan
Summary: [Major OOCness and Randomness] The REAL cause of Heimdall's desire for revenge on Loki. Watch as two idiotic gods and a mysterious Narrator watch the story along with their own commontary! For SuperJGirl5! Happy Birthday SuperJGirl5!


**Karin-chin: Okay people, I know that I was supposed to update that sequel to ****Loki's Favorite**** and you're all annoyed with me as I am annoyed with myself, but believe me, I started writing it, but the creative flow isn't running right. Please be patient with me for my prolonging delay. **

**Loki: if you can't write the sequel then why are you even here? **

**Karin-chin: Well, you see, it's my friend's birthday today so I decided to write a fanfiction in her honor. However, since she had no idea who Spica is and can't enjoy the wonderful pairing, I'm writing a fanfiction about Heimdall and Loki (no yaoi) and utter stupidity that will crack her up instead. **

**Loki: that's it? **

**Karin-chin: No, plus she REALLY likes Heimdall, but then again who doesn't? **

**Heimdall: why do I always get the crazy ones? **

**Loki: When did you get here? **

**Karin-chin: **_**(hugs Loki and Heimdall in a bone crushing hug) **_**YAY! Both my favorite characters are here! **

**Loki and Heimdall fangirls: GET HER!!! **

**Karin-chin, Loki, and Heimdall: Eep! It's the fangirls! Run away! **

**Disclaimer: **Don't own, if I did, Spica and Loki would be the definite pairing!

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**I apologize for the OOCness and randomness in this fic**

**Dedication to ****SuperJGirl5**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!**

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**The REAL Cause if Heimdall's Desire for Revenge**

In the World of the Gods, everything was as normal as it could be: Freyr going to strip clubs, Thor—or Narugami—dancing in his underwear out in public, Hel gambling away all her college money—which, by the way, her skills are as bad as Tsunade's—Fenrir and Odin playing hop scotch, the Norns playing with barbies, so on and so forth really.

Yep, just a nice and normal day in this all-powerful realm with its Godly creatures.

But what would be a day without its main characters? The protagonists of them all; Loki and Heimdall!

…

…

…

…Ahem, I _said _Loki and Heimdall!

…

…

Hello?

…

…

_Hhhhhhhhheeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooo????????????_

…

…

..cricket cricket…

…

…

…Where the bloody hell are those two?!

"Psst, Narrator-chan, they're not here" whispered Kool-Beans (A/n: these guys are friends of mine on The two girls were on the sidelines watching with the readers as the story (what story? The main characters aren't even HERE!) went on.

"What do you mean they're not here?!" the mysterious Narrator asked outraged. Their voice boomed over everything all mighty like and stuff.

"They're over there," the two bystanders said as they pointed in the other direction. And indeed our bystanders were right, they were there!

"… I knew that…"

Ahem, okay, let's start this over.

NOW, here our story begins with our two favorite gods! Meet the awesome characters known as Loki and Heimdall!

"Did you hear something?" asked Loki his best friend, Heimdall—

* * *

Heimdall: WOAH! Stop the story right there! 

Narrator: What's wrong?

Heimdall: There's NO way in Hell that Loki and I are best friends! I want to _KILL_ him for crying our loud!

Narrator: Yes, but this is telling WHY you want to kill him

Loki: Why is this necessary? The readers don't need to know _HOW_ it happened. The only thing that matters is the fact that he's trying to kill me in the first place.

Narrator: Oh hush! We're showing them how it happened and that's FINAL!!

Loki and Heimdall: ...fine… but we have one question

Narrator: What's that?

Loki and Heimdall: WHO ARE YOU??

Narrator: I'm not telling!

* * *

Anyway, Heimdall and Loki are best of friends. They were like two peas in a pod, the peanut butter to the jelly, the sauce to pizza crust; the—oh you get the point! 

"Wee! Loki, it's so good to see you!" Heimdall exclaimed as he hugged his best friend into a tight hug with a happy grin.

* * *

Heimdall: _(eye twitching) _what… the… hell… is this?! 

Narrator: This is what you were like _before _you got all angsty.

Loki: is that even a word?

Heimdall: You turned me into a gay!

Narrator: Well, I _did _have the suspicion that you were a homo. It's about time you came out of the closet and admitted it!

Heimdall: …I'm going to kill you…

Narrator: How can you when all I am is a voice?

Heimdall: …damn…

* * *

"You know, Heimdall" Loki began as he and the purple haired boy walked along the street of the World of the Gods. Gods were staring at them all the while as they viewed the close proximity of the two. Girls had hearts in there eyes and were squealing "MOE!!!" at the display of public yaoi. "If you keep this up, people will think we're gay" 

"So kawaii!!!!"

"…Too late…"

"Aw, come on, you know you like it" Heimdall whined. "Besides, the yaoi fangirls in the audience like it, don't ya Yaoi girls?"

"LOKI AND HEIMDALL FOREVER!!!!"

"That's just weird…" Loki commented as he sweatdropped. The two then proceed to skip—yes, I typed correctly, _skipped_—down the lane of Sugar Candy Mountain!

* * *

Loki: When did we end up at a mountain? 

Heimdall: Are there _even_ lanes on a mountain?

* * *

"Stop!" Loki and Heimdall halted to be face to face with the terrible, the mean, the deadly, the—oh my God, he's just so adorable! 

"Why is the ceiling commenting how cute that red haired guy with the no eyebrows is?" asked Heimdall.

"WTF!? The Ceiling is talking!" shouted Loki. (A/n: if you guess who's the mystery guy is, you get a muffin!"

"Um, hello! I'm more important than some ceiling!" the guy exclaimed.

"Um… Who are you again?" the two gods asked in unison.

"I'm—"

"OMG! It's Loki and Heimdall!" a blonde boy with three lines on each side of his face looking like whiskers exclaimed as he bounced up and down.

The hyperactive blonde shoved the red haired guy out of the way and looked at them excitedly like a little boy who was getting Christmas presents earlier.

"I am your biggest fan! Can I have your autograph? Please?" the blonde boy said _really_ fast with puppy dog eyes. He was practically an inch away from Loki's face.

"Back off blondie! He's mine!" Heimdall growled out.

Thus began a cat…er…_dog_fight between blonde boy and purple haired boy.

"Here," Loki said as he handed the paper with his autograph on it to the red haired male. Why Loki had a piece of paper and pen ready the world will probably never know.

The red haired guy just looked at it for about five seconds, then in a flash, in was in his mouth being chewed like a piece of meat.

…

…

…

* * *

Heimdall: did he… just eat the paper?

* * *

Poof! The redhaired guy was no more and now stood before Loki as AN AWESOME FLUFFY PANDA!!!! 

"Gaara! You're a panja now!" the blonde exclaimed as he jumped on the "panja's" back. The blonde and the sand ninja, now panja, both walked away leaving two very confused gods.

* * *

Loki: what does this have to do with the story? 

Heimdall: why are characters from a different anime here?

Narrator: Must've snuck in from the audience

* * *

"What's a panja?" asked Heimdall. 

"A pancake?" asked Loki.

"No, a panja" Heimdall replied.

"A pumpkin?" Loki asked.

"NO, a panja!"

"Who's trapped in a well?"

"NO! A PANJA!!!"

"SEA OTTERS ARE TRAPPED IN THE WELL!?!?!?!?!?" Loki exclaimed in horror. Heimdall slapped his forehead.

"DON'T WORRY, I'LL GET YOU OUT SEA OTTERS!!!" Loki shouted as he hurried off to rescue the sea otters. It took a minute for this to sink in for Heimdall as he watched his best friends save the supposed sea otters from the supposed well.

…

…

…

…

…Wow, is this guy slow or what?

…

…

…

"YOU'RE LEAVING ME FOR SEA OTTERS?!?!?!?!" Heimdall exclaimed and went after the trickster god in attempt to gain back his best friend from the evil sea otters. When Loki wasn't looking, he would be sure to get rid of the weasels! Mwhahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

* * *

Heimdall: I don't remember it happening like this 

Loki and Narrator: _(teary eyed) _those poor sea otters!

Heimdall: _(sweatdrops)_

* * *

Now as we catch up to our heroes, we see that Heimdall and Loki are out of breath panting on the ground on all fours like dogs on a hot summer day. 

"Need… water" Heimdall choked out.

"Need… sea otters," Loki groaned out.

"It looks like this is it," Heimdall gasped out. Loki looked around and spotted a pebble on the ground.

"The pebble is the well?"

"No! we're dying!"

"Oh"

"You know, Loki, there's something I really want to tell you…" Heimdall started. This was it. His long awaited confession. The yaoi fangirls and the crowd are silent with anticipation on the Moe moment.

"Yeah, me too"

"Really?" asked Heimdall happily.

"Yeah, you know your clarinet?"

"…Yeah?"

"..I used it to unclog the toilet"

Heimdall's heart was shattered and his eye was twitching. _THAT_ wasn't the confession he was looking for!

"Hey look!" Loki pointed. "We're saved!" he cried out and scrambled to his feet with newfound energy. He picked up said item.

"Behold! The box of pocky!" Loki exclaimed. Light shined from above on this heavenly candy as Angels sang.

"Are you beholding it?"

"I'm beholding it," Heimdall said. "Now let's have a bite!"

…

…

…

"Uh-oh" Loki said as he gazed into the box.

"What?" asked Heimdall. Loki looked at him with despair.

"There's only one stick," he said. Heimdall gasped. Both of them loved pocky and if there was only one stick, then they were doomed!

"Well, bottoms up" Loki shrugged and proceeded to eat the pocky stick. Heimdall gasped and whacked Loki on the head before he could eat the beloved candy.

"Ow! What was that for Heimdall?"

"You would rather eat that pocky stick and let me starve then none of us eating the pocky stick and starve?!" Heimdall demanded angrily.

"...maybe…" Loki avoided his gaze as he said that. "Besides, I found it," he told the purple haired god. Heimdall snorted and grabbed the pocky box from Loki. He walked ten feet away and placed the item down on the ground. He then went in the other direction and stood ten feet away from Loki.

"What are you doing?" Loki asked.

"You—"he pointed to the trickster god"—are going to choose between me—"he pointed to himself"—and the box of pocky—"he ended finally by pointing to the offending item that was the trial of Loki's love.

…

…

…

"Why am I doing it?" Loki asked.

"Because I said so! Besides, I would give it up for you, now you give it up for me!" he told him as he crossed his arms.

* * *

Narrator: Gasp! The tension is so thick you can cut it with one—no, two!—knives! 

Heimdall: Why am I gay?

Narrator: I don't know, I guess that's the way you are. We can't hate you for that.

Loki: Good point

Heimdall: Why aren't _YOU _complaining?!

Loki: No one's gonna think _I'm_ gay

Narrator: Tell me about it. Who knows how many illegitimate children you had!

* * *

"Um… um…" Loki sweated as his eyes darted back and forth between the awesome box of pocky and his best friend. The sweat was pouring like rivers down to earth and thus created the Mississippi River. 

Heimdall crossed his arms as he waited for Loki to come over to him. He knew his best friend would choose _him_. He was _way_ much better than a stinking box of pocky! He could even sing! Take that box of—wait why is Loki inching towards the pocky box?!?!

"Loki! Are you going to the pocky box?!" Heimdall exclaimed outraged. Loki turned to him and rapidly shook his head. However, Heimdall could've sworn that Loki wasn't twelve feet away from him in the beginning.

"No, of course no!" Loki denied. Another step towards the pocky box. "I'm not so weak as to choose a pocky box over my best friend!"

* * *

Loki: If I'm saying that then why am I going towards the pocky? 

Narrator: no one can resist pocky!

Loki: I can!

Narrator: _(Whistling innocently as they throw a pocky box onto the floor) _

Loki: MINE!!!! _(scrambles for the pocky box) _

* * *

"Yes you are!" Heimdall accused. 

"But I can't help it!" Loki whined as he waved his arms up and down like a penguin on crack. "It's calling me! It's saying 'Come Loki, I'm so much better than Heimdall, I taste better, I'm more handsomer, and I can actually sing'!" Loki said in a mysterious tone of voice.

* * *

Heimdall: I can _SO_ sing! 

Narrator and Loki: No you can't

Heimdall: We'll see about that! _(takes a deep breath and lets it out)_

Narrator: AH!! MY EARS!! THEY BLEED!!!

Loki: _(covers his ears)_ There are some things that should never be heard!

* * *

"You're making that up! Pocky doesn't talk!" Heimdall told him. 

"I am not!" Loki retorted. Another step towards the Pocky. "In fact, it's talking to me right now!"

"Oh really, then what's it saying, huh?" asked Heimdall as he glared at the offending box.

…

…

…

"Do you know the Muffin Man?" asked Loki. Another step. (Narrator: picture them saying it like the ginger bread man and Farquad from _Shrek_)

"The Muffin Man?" Heimdall asked confused. He didn't notice Loki taking another step towards the box.

"The Muffin Man" Loki confirmed.

"Yes, I know the Muffin Man," Heimdall said. "Who lives on Drewy Lane?" he asked. Another step towards the pocky Loki went.

"Well… she's married to… the Muffin Man"

"The Muffin Man?!" Heimdall exclaimed in shock.

"THE MUFFIN MAN!!!" Loki shouted confirming.

"She's married to the Muffin Man," Heimdall said slowly as if disgusting it in. "Loki, why would a box of pocky be saying—Loki? LOKI?!" Heimdall exclaimed as he looked around looking for the trickster god.

He then noticed the box of pocky gone too.

* * *

Heimdall: You fiend! 

Loki: You can't blame me! It was Earl's fault!

Narrator: Who's Earl?

Heimdall: You named the pocky?!

Loki:…maybe…

* * *

"How could you Loki?!" Heimdall sobbed. Then something inside him snapped. His happy aura now turned dark and emoish. His demeanor completely full of angst. 

"Loki…" he said in a dark scary voice.

…

…

"I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU1!!!" he shouted.

* * *

Loki: so that's how you became all angsty 

Heimdall: it was your fault!

Narrator: Wait guys, keep watching!

* * *

"But I guess I'll do it tomorrow since I have singing lessons today!" Heimdall chirped out and skipped all the way to his house. 

Once Heimdall was gone, the trickster could be seen eating the stick of pocky. He looked around for the purple haired boy having no idea that Heimdall has declared him his archenemy.

"I wonder where Heimdall went" Loki said to himself. "I was just about to tell him that this was strawberry flavored pocky" he said to himself as he chewed the stick of candy.

"And everyone knows that Heimdall's allergic to strawberries"

* * *

Heimdall: O.O 

Loki: O.O

Narrator: …cheesepuffs!

Heimdall: you mean that this whole time… the pocky stick was strawberry?

Loki: which you are allergic to

Heimdall: I had no idea!

Loki: I did

Heimdall: Loki, I'm sorry! Let's be friends again!

Loki: _(sweatdrops at Heimdall's bipolarness)_ Okay, sure…

Narrator and audience: Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Narrator: this calls for a celebration! Don't you agree?

Heimdall and Loki: Sure—

Narrator: yes, I completely agree

Heimdall, Loki, and audience: O.O

Heimdall: is the narrator…

Loki: … talking to themselves?

Narrator one: I guess you haven't figured it out, huh?

Narrator two: what a shame really

Both Narrators: For we are in fact…

Bright lights shine everywhere and smoke bombs blow up causing everyone to cough. When it cleared everyone gasped.

Karin Ochibi-chan and SuperJGirl5: WE ARE KARIN OCHIBI-CHAN AND SUPERJGIRL5!!!!!

Heimdall, Loki, and audience: WTF?!?!

Karin Ochibi-chan: that was great wasn't it J-chan?

SuperJGirl5: Yes, I agree Chibi-chan!

Heimdall: What are you guys doing here?!

Loki: More importantly, where did you come from?

Karin Ochibi-chan: Well, I'm the author so I automatically get to be here…

SuperJGirl5: And it's my birthday so there!

Karin Ochibi-chan: And since it's J-chan's b-day, we decided to get you guys to make up!

Audience: Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Kool-Beans: Why weren't we in on it?!

Karin Ochibi-chan and Loki: Now who wants pocky!

SuperJGirl5 and Heimdall: WE DO!!!

Karin Ochibi-chan: Here ya go! _(gives them all a stick of pocky) _

Suddenly, SuperJGirl5 and Heimdall start coughing as they held their half eaten sticks of pocky. Upon closer examination, they realized the cause of the choking.

SuperJGirl5: Chibi-chan…

Heimdall: Loki…

SuperJGirl5 and Heimdall: THIS IS STRAWBERRY POCKY YOU NITWITS!!!!!!

Karin Ochibi-chan and Loki: So?

SuperJGirl5 and Heimdall: WE'RE ALLERGIC TO STRAWBERRY!!!!! ACK!!! _(both are now choking on the food) _

Karin Ochibi-chan and Loki gazed at the two as they munched on their pocky sticks. They looked for about a minute, shrugged their shoulders, and continued eating the heavenly pocky without a care in the world.

Naruto: Hey, you guys want to go get some pizza?

Karin Ochibi-chan: Sure!

Loki: It's not like we have anything better to do

Gaara: Just as long as I'm not turned into a panda ninja again.

Karin Ochibi-chan and Naruto: PANJA!!!!!

Gaara, Naruto, Karin Ochibi-chan, and Loki all leave Heimdall and SuperJGirl5 behind to go get pizza.

So now you know why Heimdall wanted revenge on Loki, but what happened the next day…

_

* * *

_

_The Next Day…_

"Okay Loki! Where are you?!" it was the next day and Heimdall was ready to kill the trickster god. Narugami just happening to pass by, stopped to looked at the shorter boy.

"Loki's not here," Narugami told the angsty god.

"What do you mean he's not here?!" Heimdall demanded.

"I mean, he was banished to the human world last night by Odin" Narugami replied as he scratched the bridge of his nose in confusion.

"It was something about Loki eating Odin's box of pocky…"

THE END

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**Karin-chin: Well, there you have it! Idiocy and randomness all packed in one! Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPERJGIRL5!!!!!!! That was for you!! Hope you enjoyed it! **

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**


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